


May the Wild Child in you Never Die

by Cryptographic_Delurk



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Blood Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Crack Lite, Dragon Age II Quest - Forbidden Knowledge, Ex Blood Mage Anders (Dragon Age), Gen, Golems, Mid-Canon, Multi, Other, They/Them Hawke, for a liberal understanding of the word ‘ex’, like a bickery friendship fic but also they all have crushes on each other, this is just a shitpost in fic form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptographic_Delurk/pseuds/Cryptographic_Delurk
Summary: In which Hawke tries to commandeer a golem to hold a prizefighting match with Xenon, Anders reveals he went through a wild phase with the Wardens, and Merrill thinks he and Fenris are giant hypocrites but in a cute way.
Relationships: Anders & Fenris & Merrill (Dragon Age), Anders/Fenris/Hawke/Merrill (Dragon Age)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	May the Wild Child in you Never Die

The crevices of the runed stone glowed strangely to the touch, and Hawke poked and prodded at them with large blunted fingers, activating one rune and then another, then reset the mechanism and started over. Merrill observed from over their shoulder, trying to take in as much of the process and the strange lost language of the dwarves as she could. But in the end she had her own areas of study, and could only be hopelessly outmatched by someone who tinkered in the area full time and had the whole of Sandal’s expertise to fall back on. She’d observed one of their conversations once, and she wasn’t sure how Hawke managed to glean so much from Sandal’s single word answers. But somehow Hawke did, and there was no questioning that with how deftly and intently they prodded the Nexus Golem’s back.

Merrill flitted away, to allow Hawke space. Anders and Fenris were standing at a distance. The room had long since been cleared of shades and skeletons and other hostile elements. That was back when they’d just come for the book, and Merrill had gone home with a whole collection of tomes and a fell grimoire wider than she was clutched to her chest. But they were back for the golem now, and it wasn’t safe to go traipsing through old thaigs alone, even if you’d cleared them out once before.

Anders was doing that thing he normally did. Which was make a whole and complete butt of himself. He was prodding Fenris’s crossed arms with little jabs of his fingers and a mean smile. Merrill caught the tail end of their bickering.

“Why must you go on about this?” Fenris snipped. “No magister would turn down a chance to use blood magic – an advantage over his rivals. If he did, he'd be dead.”

“You know, to use blood magic you must look a demon in the eye and accept his offer. I just figured some of them would say no.” He shrugged. “For aesthetic reasons, if nothing else.”

Anders took the opportunity to preen and give a flippant flip of his hair. A streak of blue crackled across his face, from the edge of his eye back behind his ear.

Fenris heaved a sigh. “Why do I let myself be dragged about with the likes of you?”

“Because you have no other friends,” Anders leered.

“Because you want to be invited to mine and Xenon’s Epic Golem Showdown when this is over,” Hawke called from the corner of the hall.

“You know that’s not exactly right…” Merrill pondered with a wrinkle of her nose.

“No, I’m pretty sure Hawke is correct,” Fenris considered with an appraising nod. “I _do_ want to see the golems fight.”

“No, I was talking to Anders,” Merrill clarified.

“Me?” Anders pointed to himself with one crooked finger.

“You said you can only learn magic from a demon, but that’s not true,” Merrill instructed.

“Hmm.” Anders immediately looked uncomfortable.

“Some in Tevinter make deals to pass the knowledge amongst themselves,” Fenris confirmed. “Though trading secrets with a blood mage is hardly less dangerous than trading them with a demon.”

“Well, you’re hardly one to talk, are you?” Anders considered him with narrowed eyes. “Don’t you go out for drinks every Friday and cry your secrets onto Hawke’s shoulder?”

Fenris snarled and looked away.

“Actually, Hawke, where did you learn your blood magic from?” Merrill called over to them. “Did your father teach you? Or was it a spirit?”

“Yes,” Hawke called back with a lazy thumbs up.

Anders ignored this and narrowed his eyes at Merrill. “Are you planning on teaching someone?”

“Maybe. Eventually,” Merrill shrugged. “A Keeper must pass on their knowledge, or it is lost again. When I made my pact with Audacity, it was one of the things I needed to know – that I would be able to keep the knowledge and pass it on, so that no others among the People would need to sell themselves for it like I did.”

Fenris and Anders immediately opened their mouths to tell Merrill everything that was wrong with this, but Merrill tuned them out and scratched ponderously at her wrist. She hadn’t actually gotten around to testing what it would be to teach another person. And she really only had Audacity’s word on the matter. And some spirits could lie as well as any on this side of the veil.

Merrill unlatched her knife from her belt and flipped her up in her hand with a sharp flick of her wrist.

Anders and Fenris instinctively took a step back.

“Actually, Anders,” she said, running fire over the blade to cleanse it. “Do you mind helping me test it out?”

“Maker, it’s finally happening,” Anders scrambled behind Fenris and shoved him forward like a living shield. “She’s going to slice us up for her demon.”

Fenris grunted and shot a pithy look at Anders’s hand on his shoulder. “Would you like me to hold him down for you?” he asked Merrill.

“Yes, you’re both very silly,” Merrill agreed. “But, no, I mean can I see if I can teach you, Anders? Since Hawke already knows and I don’t know how teaching anyone else will go?”

“No,” Anders said.

Fenris muttered something in Tevene and looked up to the stone ceiling, as if praying for patience.

“Why not?” Merrill gave a toothy grin. “We won’t do anything scary, just a few little drops to make your hands heat up. You won’t have to use it for anything.”

“But you will,” Fenris reminded him. “The temptation will always be too strong.”

Anders laughed anxiously. “Look, we’re not doing this.”

“Oh, why not?” Merrill asked, tapping the edge of her blade against her palm. It was fun to watch him squirm, although she hadn’t really expected him to agree. “You won’t be looking any demons in the eye, so maybe it won’t work at all.”

“It will work,” Anders said, with a little annoyed lilt to his voice. “I was just repeating Chantry line earlier. It will definitely work, okay.”

“And how do you know?” Merrill asked sweetly. “You know, you’re awfully judgemental about things of which you know so little. You’re really eager to talk over Fenris too, and I’m pretty sure he knows more about Tevinter than you do.”

Fenris looked back over his shoulder with an expectant look.

“Fine. Point,” he offered Fenris. “But I’m speaking with authority when I say blood magic is gross and it makes me all woozy, okay?” Anders said.

“Are you?” Merrill asked with a critical smile.

Anders gave a frustrated grunt. “Look, I know because I’ve tried it already,” he snapped.

Well, that hadn’t been quite what Merrill was expecting.

Fenris went slack for a moment, and then his jaw clenched and he rolled his eyes. He collapsed his head so his cheek brushed against Anders’s hand. “Of course you have. But tell me again how mages won’t abuse their powers as soon as they are free to do so.”

Anders let out a manic little huff. “Really? I’d like to see you look Warden Commander Surana straight in the eye and tell her, no, you’re not interested in learning any blood magic secrets from her.”

“Surana…” Merrill considered, as she sheathed her knife. “The Hero of Ferelden was an elf, wasn’t she? There aren’t many tales of contemporary Elvhen heroes.”

Fenris cut her off to speak directly with Anders. “Yes, and I’m sure that was such a hardship for you,” he offered sarcastically.

“Well, at the time is seemed rather… exciting?” Anders allowed. He let go of Fenris’s shoulder to cross his arms over his chest and stepped out from behind Fenris. He seemed to wither under their contemplative stares. “Oh, cut it out. I was a different person then! I was fresh out of solitary and prancing about like an arrogant loon. Andraste’s Grace, I thought joining the Wardens was a good idea for whatever reason. And I had an earring. And went around insisting I could hold my liquor. The men challenged me to a drinking contest and I ended up vomiting all over my- our- _Justice_ ’s shoes.”

“Because that little identity stumble is not concerning at all,” Fenris said. “And I fail to see what your lack of tolerance has to do with anything.”

“I just mean I was a tit,” Anders snipped. “Is it really so surprising I had a big bad blood mage phase? It happened, and Justice set me straight, and now it’s over. That’s all. Just a phase.”

“Blood magic is a lifestyle, not a phase,” Merrill snorted.

“And praise be to the Maker for that,” Hawke called over from behind where they were working for the golem.

She and Hawke shared and whoop-whoop of solidarity. Merrill wasn’t usually big on the Maker, but she could set that aside for this at least.

Fenris’s ears twitched irritably. “So you’re saying that you’re done with that, and you _never_ use blood magic anymore?”

Anders glanced to the side and hesitated a little too long.

Merrill gasped. “Noooo.”

“Unbelievable,” Fenris scoffed.

“Well, I’m not about to let someone die of a blood clot just because I’m too busy pretending I don’t know how to save them,” Anders snapped. “It’s not like I’m using it like her to mess with people’s heads and give them seizures,” he pointed accusingly at Merrill.

“No, you’re just going around acting like you know what everyone else should be doing when you don’t have it figured out yourself,” Merrill said plainly.

Fenris cursed in Tevene and looked between them darkly. “You’re both intolerable. It’s a miracle you’re not both shambling horrors by now.”

Merrill opened her mouth to argue, when the three of them startled.

Hawke scurried back to the wall, as the Nexus Golem flashed red and lit up in a dozen runes. “Amgarrak tapped the blood, spilled within the Stone,” it sputtered. And then said something in the old dwarven language, which Merrill could not understand, before going dormant again. The four of them watched it for a moment, before deciding it wouldn’t do much more.

“Are you alright, Hawke?” Fenris called over.

“Perfectly fine.”

“You know, we ran into one of those things in Kal’Hirol once,” Anders volunteered. “They have these control rods that make them work. Has anyone seen one on the way over?”

Anders watched as the other three shook their heads in turn.

“Well, if a control rod is what we’re missing… That’s good information to keep in mind at any rate,” Hawke said. They considered the back of the golem critically, before reaching for the set of tools they’d spread out over the floor, and found their knife. “I’m gonna try bleeding a bit more life into the thing first, though.”

“Sounds good, Hawke,” Fenris offered. “Let us know if you need anything.” He turned back and caught the others’ critical glances. “What?” he snipped defensively.

“ _Let us know if you need anything_?” Anders parroted back at him. “What makes Hawke so different?”

“Hawke is not weak like the two of you,” Fenris bristled.

“I am not weak!” Anders protested, but in that booming voice that meant Justice was closer behind him than usual. “I don’t even use blood magic!”

“For the most part,” Merrill added in for him.

“Hawke also isn’t an abomination,” Fenris pointed out.

“I am no demon!” Justice or Anders protested.

“Is Justice the reason you gave up blood magic then?” Merrill asked, as Fenris scoffed under his breath about demonic lunacy.

Anders or Justice nodded seriously. “I was shown the kind of harm that blood magic can do. Perhaps if you’d seen the Blackmarsh, you would understand.”

“Or maybe you three just need to see the kind of good that blood magic can do,” Merrill said simply.

There were a bunch of snarly protests about both blood magic and not wanting to be bunched together in the same group as the other.

“Oh, you’re all awful,” Merrill huffed. “And I expect this kind of hypocrisy from Fenris, but how can you get mad at him for making excuses for Hawke when you do exactly the same thing and then scold me?” she asked Anders.

And the sputtering answer _was_ all Anders. “Well, Hawke is, uh…”

“Human?” Merrill tried.

Fenris raised an eyebrow at Anders. Anders coughed and looked uncomfortable.

“Is it because they’re so pretty?” Merrill asked. “Is it because they’re a dashing lordling with that big house at the top of Kirkwall with the view to the sea? And the both of you are pining for them to come sweep you off your feet?”

Fenris just pressed a hand over his mouth and looked away. Anders went more noticeably red, though he could hardly hide it with his complexion.

“No-! What-?! I wouldn’t-” he broke into a small, anxious fit of laughter.

“Oh, are you shy?” Merrill crooned. “I don’t know why. If you’re going to be a terrible hypocrite, it might as well be for a cute reason like that. And if it were me- Well, I know if Hawke wanted to sweep me up off my feet I’d hardly say no.”

The other two appeared even more bashful.

“I mean, if they wanted to sweep all of us up, that would be fine with me too,” she was quick to add. “Though we might be too heavy, if they decided to do all of us at once.”

Anders now appeared to be choking. Fenris reached forward to grab her. He pulled her against his chest and shoved one gauntleted hand over her mouth.

“Stop talking,” he warned.

Merrill broke into a fit of giggles.

Fenris sighed. He bent down wrapped his arm around Merrill’s thighs and hoisted her up over his shoulder. “That’s enough out of you for one day,” he warned.

She flopped down against his back and giggled some more. It was nice he wasn’t wearing all that spiky armour today.

“Success!” Hawke called.

Merrill couldn’t see, from where she was dangling over Fenris’s shoulder, but then there was a new voice. Something dry.

“Am I-?” the Nexus Golem said uncertainly. “I remember you. You bought everything from the Shaperate last time you were here.”

“Uh, System Malfunction?” Hawke asked in a confused voice. “End Program? Command Prompt: Taskkill?”

“What happened to my control rod? How did you sever me from it?”

“Oh, I-? How did I, er…? Fenris!” Hawke called somewhat frantically. “Can you come over here for a second after all? …Oh! And I, uh, can’t ‘do’ all three of you at once, but I suppose taking turns is an option.” They laughed awkwardly.

Merrill felt Fenris’s posture straighten. “So much for hoping Hawke hadn’t heard us,” he mumbled.

“They only act like they’re not paying attention,” Anders agreed sulkily. “They’ll only ignore you so long as it suits them. And just when you think you’ve gotten away with something they’ll completely blindside you.”

Merrill didn’t think it was really that Hawke ignored them. They just got easily overwhelmed, and couldn’t look everyone in the eye and respond to everything at once. In light of that, their suggestion was rather sensible, really. But there were more important matters at hand. “The golem’s awake! I want to go see it, too!” she squealed.

“Wait your turn,” Fenris said curtly. He lifted Merrill off his shoulder and plopped her against Anders’s chest. “Here. Hold onto this for me.”

Anders caught her instinctively, and blushed a little as she pulled herself up around his neck.

“Too many fool mages in this place to keep my eye on,” Fenris snorted softly, before padding over to stand next to Hawke.

Merrill watched them, as the Nexus Golem posed them with exciting and baffling questions like: _What happened to the Shaperate? Where is Amgarrak from here? What happened to Cardin?_

Hawke kept looking to Fenris for guidance, which Fenris answered with blank wide-eyed stares and puffed cheeks.

After a minute of this, Fenris turned and called over to them. “Fine. You two can have your turn. Now get over here.”

Merrill bounced a little in Anders’s arms and looked up to him. And Anders turned down to her with cheeks a pleasant red.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Very,” she agreed.

“Alright then,” he agreed, and clutched her a little tighter. “Let’s catch up with the others.”


End file.
